at The Waldorf Hotel
“But was it nothing but looks? People said. What was there behind it—her beauty, her splendor? Or was there nothing? For easily though she might have said at some moment of intimacy when stories of great passion, of love foiled, of ambition thwarted came her way how she too had known or felt or been through it herself, she never spoke. She was silent always. She knew then—she knew without having learnt. Her simplicity fathomed what clever people falsified. Her singleness of mind made her drop plumb like a stone, alight exact like a bird, gave her, naturally, this swoop and fall of the spirit upon truth which delighted, eased—sustained, falsely perhaps. ‘But she’s no more aware of her beauty than a child,’ he thought. For always, there was something incongruous to be worked into the harmony of her face. She clapped a deerstalker hat on her head; she ran across the lawn in galoshes. So that if it was her beauty merely that one thought of, one must remember the quivering thing, the living thing, and work it into the picture; or if one thought of her simply as a woman, one must endow her some freak of idiosyncrasy; or suppose some latent desire to doff her royalty of form as if her beauty bored her and all that men say of beauty, and she wanted only to be like other people, insignificant.”
— Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse
I came back to this small town in search of comfort & security. My heart was in need of repair. My life was an orderly mess. I had lost my way once again.
Several months later, I am still lost. And frankly, I think I will be for a while but this time, I’ll embrace it. I keep reminding myself that we were all meant to be lost. It’s an adventure, after all. If we all knew where we were going, life would be lifeless & tedious.
Tomorrow is a new day. Significant now. At this very moment, my heart is stronger than before & I have focussed on my goals & dreams a little more, with a clearer head. Tomorrow I’ll be living in a new place, with a new friend, new intentions, & (somewhat) new goals.
I’m not sure at all what to expect from this experience. I do expect a couple of things from myself, however, and that is to work harder than ever to get to the top of this beautiful, brutal mountain & to find peace within myself, acknowledging the fact that I’m that much closer to genuinely saying to everyone: “Yeah… I’m living the dream.”
I know the branch is safe, I know it holds you still, but if you cannot take the leap, then fly you never will.
Starlings Leaping From Tree (by TylerKnott)
“A story about a girl looking for the perfect romance by trying to be the “perfect lady”.
This was supposed to be for Sigur Ros’ Valtari film competition, but I find it more suitable to say that it’s really a simple observation of the way today’s society and media may affect a girl’s perception of what “perfection” is. And ultimately, she will connect that to her desire for romantic love. The strange part is: she’s all aware of the illusion of it , but her choice of denial leads to a deadly cycle.
I also add to this description that I happened to miss the deadline for the competition. But that’s okay.”
“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”— Ernest Hemingway
“I want to keep making things and not just talk about making them.”
“If you translate music through one instrument, then through imagined sheet music, and then into a second instrument, you will inevitably make enough...”